Hey There Lovelies,
As a follow up post to What to do when you leave your job/ get fired, I decided to write a list of what not to do in that scenario. This one will be a little more fun, because I may or may not have done
all most of these things, so this post may just get a little comical.
1. Do not drink yourself to sleep for the first few weeks. You wake up hungover on your couch, or in your bed, fully clothed, at four in the afternoon. Drinking away your problems does not help. It makes them worse, and you usually end up looking like the living dead. Not pretty. Not helpful in getting a new job either. If your own spouse, boyfriend, room mate, etc, looks at you with pity and offers you water and tylenol, your potential new employer will most definitely feel like they want to do the same. Then they will never call you back.
2. Do not lock yourself up in your house for a month. It does not help. You need to be out, seeing people, seeing the sun, trying to get yourself back on track. You do not need to be hungover (see number 1), pale, full of anxiety and depressed feelings, alone in your own home. It's not good for you. Take some vitamin D if your country/home lacks sunlight this time of the year, and go outside to breathe. Make a lunch date with a friend every week, or go out and visit a shelter and pet some kittens. Just get out of your house.
3. Do not feel that because you don't have a job you get to live in your sweatpants and sweatshirts, let your hair fade, and generally be lazy. Yes this works well for the first few days, but then the house becomes a mess, you start to smell, and your bed and couch get divets from your butt in them. Get up, get moving, and wear some real clothes, and a bra, especially if it's chilly out. Impose a no sweatpants after 10 AM rule. It not only will make you feel better, but it will keep you from sleeping all day and eating take out. Trust me.
4. Do not live off take out and junk food. Eat a salad, drink a smoothie, try and be healthy. This rule goes along with the no sweatpants after 10 AM rule. Your sweatpants won't tell you if you're gaining weight unnecessarily, but your jeans sure will. So will your friends when they see you three months later... Yep.
5. Do not alienate your friends or your former co workers. They don't think less of you, and they don't want to make you feel any worse about your situation, they just want to be your friends and support you, so let them. Don't feel like a burden, or like you should be ashamed of yourself and cut out everyone from your former life. Right now you need support and connections if you ever hope to pull yourself out of this funk, so cutting everyone out is not gonna help you feel any better. Also, your friends are a huge source of self esteem. They will come over and tell you how pretty you are and help you apply for new jobs and pick out clothes.
6. Do not think that retail therapy will help you overcome your sad feelings. Same goes for late night Ebay shopping after a half a bottle of wine. Don't do it. You end up broke, crying over your dwindling bank account, and your lack of current employment to fix the gaping hole you just put into your savings. Instead window shop, or make wishlists on your favorite sites, and come back to them in a day or so. If you still desperately need seven things of eyelashes, and four different color shirts that all look exactly the same, so be it, but chances are you won't. (I ended up with seven different sets of eyelashes, a headband with cat ears, and a comb shaped like a gun in my basket that I almost bought. Always hide your credit cards at night. )
7. Do not do a massive life/look overhaul. It is not a good idea to decide that because you are currently unemployed that if you change how you look/dress/decorate your living space your life will dramatically improve overnight. This is how you end up internet shopping your savings away to become "hip" and "interesting". Cutting off all your hair and dying it a drastic color (ahem dark brown, which is what happens to my red hair when I get sad) will not make you feel better. It will make you feel like a stranger to yourself and cut down your confidence and make you resentful and prone to drinking/eating binges. You are lovely just the way you are.
8.Do not procrastinate on getting a new job. If you need the income, don't wait months to put yourself back out there because you're scared. The longer you go without looking for a new job, the harder it is to put yourself back out there. The worst any company can say to you is no, and eventually that no will turn into a yes with some other company and you will have another job. Don't get discouraged. Everyone starts at the bottom to work their way up, so even if it isn't your dream position now, some day you can work yourself up into the big office and the nice assistant.
9. Do not get desperate in your search of a new job and undersell yourself when an opportunity comes along. AKA do not offer to follow your boyfriend around and work for him when he is a construction worker and you are a weak little girl. Yes I offered to do that, yes his boss said I could because my boyfriend is amazing and everyone always loves him. No I did not go to work with my boyfriend because he never woke me up and left for work without me. I guess me working on roofs didn't appeal to him. The lesson still stands though. Don't undersell yourself in a big way JUST to have a job. As I said in number 8, it may not be your dream job, but it should also be something you want to be doing. Do what you're good at. Don't be desperate. You won't work up to your potential and you will just be wasting peoples time if you don't actually want to be at work.
10. Last but not least, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT fall into a pit of despair and sadness and bad feelings. People love you, that situation wasn't for you, and you WILL find something else. The last thing I want anyone to take away from this post is that while losing a job is hard, and while being jobless is not ideal or fun or enjoyable, it is not the end of the world. You will find something else, and you don't need to be destructive or self loathing if you find yourself in my position, or the position many young people now find themselves in. We put a lot of our self worth into our positions in society and the jobs we hold, but that should not mean that if we fall down we should give up.
Good Luck Everyone!